Colored Girls Response

I did not write this....But I whole heartily agree with. Actually, I just
finish having this discussion with my cousin last night! Whomever wrote, I
would like to feature this on my website. Thank you, perfectly written.

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so
excited. I had the idea of getting as many women together that I could
think of to go see this movie. I had visions of group discussions and
moments shared with one another that would lead to healing and growth, I
guess I kind of imagined a Womens Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and I
realized that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate for various
reasons: You don't like me, you don't care for somebody I might invite, you
only hang out with certain people, you don't understand the big deal about
Tyler Perry making yet another movie about black people and our issues for
all the world to see, you don't like crowds, so n so is too ghetto, such
and such is too uppity etc... It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as black
women are each others biggest critics. We are the quickest to bring each
other down, find each others faults and nit pick at a sister until she has
nothing left, nothing left to give and then we step over her and call her
worthless. We take the prettiest women and tear them down for thinking
"they are cute" but turn around and dog the average sista because "she know
she should take better care of herself than that - can't believe she got a
man!" We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding
somebody else's coat tails. We tell a big sista to put down her burger and
turn around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride
the loud mouth woman for "talking to darn much" and likewise torment the
quiet woman for "Being too quiet and needing to take up for herself" Sad
part is we don't discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to
white people and HalleBerryfor not being able to keep a man to young
Willow Smith for acting to darn grown in her recent video. All of these
females are successful and there is something about each one of them to be
proud of but a lot of us can't seem to see that. I have to wonder since we
all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not) is there
something about ourselves that we don't like, what has happened to us that
we cannot seem to get along. Why is that we fight amongst ourselves,
backstab & steal each others men(only to find out we should have left him
where we found him). We cannot seem to be unified to support and stick up
for one another. Everybody seems to be out for themselves while other
groups unite against us but nobody else has to bring us down because we
trample on the spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good
credit, rich handsome husband etc, this does not mean that you should look
down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income based
housing struggling to keep her lights on. We ALWAYS think the grass is
greener on the other side, I had a woman who's child father is MIA tell me
that I should never complain because I receive a decent amount of child
support and I laughed and let her know that I would gladly give every dime
back if he would come relieve some of this overwhelming pressure of feeling
inadequate as a parent. If I could get just one full night of sleep or not
always be on the verge of losing my job because Im the one that has to call
off or leave work for one reason or another to accommodate my child - yeah
he could DEFINITELY have his money if I could have some peace! Money alone
doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn't keep you
satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure, fame doesn't make you
less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being
stuck up and mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent you from being

You don't know how the sista sitting right next to could have
carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating from last
night. The teacher you handed your child over to this morning could have
sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies. The
teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last
day on her job and have no idea how she is going to survive past next
weekend. The sista at the office that appears so busy could be typing her
goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to blow her
brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into bed. The woman you pass
in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion because she fears
what others might think or how the woman that sent you this e-mail may drink
an over abundance of alcohol every night to mask the nightmares of an
abusive childhood.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I'm not suggesting that we all like
each other and be phony, But I am asking that we all try to respect each
other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don't
know what past or current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is
today. We spend so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are
expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece.
If we would spend 1/3 of the time we spend tearing each other down to build
someone up, encourage someone, show someone some love, we could truly make
a difference and save someone's life. PLEASE don't be the straw that
breaks another woman's back. Believe me when I tell you that there is a
woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, your prayer.

I hope that you read this and get something out of it other than a
laugh and that you pass this on to as many women as you can to let someone
know that you believe they are somebody special and that if need be you are
available to listen. Nothing bad is going to happen if you don't forward
this e-mail but I'd like to think that something positive will happen if
you choose to pass it along. May favor be extended to each and everyone
of your lives, keep your head up and know that someone somewhere cares!!!

*Recieved on 11.18.10



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